Say Anything

Recognizing that it just isn’t nice to leave anyone who might be stumbling upon my blogospot with that eerie image of our current VP, and my unapologetic commentary on his latest evil deed, dangling like a dislodged earring, I've decided to say anything. (Oh, how about that sweet little shooting victim anyway, apologizing for all the pain and scrutiny that he caused the Cheney family. I find some things inexplicably ironic.)

So, I’ve resolved to write something, anything to introduce a kinder, gentler Paper Garden to my 2-3 potential viewers. And to leave you with an image that is nothing if not the anti-Cheney, my mother at age four. I have always loved this picture of my mother.I begin to think about history.

I look at this picture, a photo that in itself carries some irony, and wonder about image. This picture was taken, according to an ancient notation on the back (made no doubt by my grandmother who died in 1983), in December of 1943 in Berlin. It may have been a birthday picture. It surely was a time of critical stress in my grandmother’s life, as her husband would be killed less than a year from that date. My grandfather fought in German uniform. Everyone said he was a lovely man, a gentle soul whose wife and daughters were his world. He was forty-four, and sent to the front lines because he did not belong to the Nazi party. Many people don’t realize that not all Germans were Nazi’s. However, my grandfather, a former mounted policeman, was drafted and died for der Fuherer … the lunatic who, it is difficult to believe, actually impacted my own life via my mother.

I look at this photo of my mother and think about the children of war. Today I read about raids in Iraq. Every day we read about bombings and children trekking to find safety from the dangers our world presents, dangers manufactured by other people who have been, first and foremost, children.

I’m about to graduate with an undergraduate degree, and yet I have none of the answers I’d hoped I could learn to reason out of this kind of socio-political chaos. I am no closer to understanding it all. Sometimes, because my parents actually knew suffering, I stay up at night and wonder how I was to be so much luckier.

So when I read about the bombings, and the women and children who die in the middle east, or Africa, or South America, I think directly of my beautiful mother, my childish mother so subject to nervousness, so scattered and friendly, so energetic, but so increasingly afraid as she grows older. I think of what she has seen and what she has never told me.

Look Out Bambi (and anyone near him)

V.P. Cheney has shotgun blasted another hunter. The comcast homepage story said that he "didn't hit the man's eyes or anything." ‘Nuff said. If you’d like to read more about it, I’m sure you can have a heyday with an appropriate Google search. Oh, the suppression of the story for 24-hours is worth mentioning. Guess there were no bloggers around! :)

I’m very perplexed by those who hunt for the pleasure. While I’m all about a lovely, fresh, fly-caught trout brought home by my husband (whose fly-fishing skills were one of the qualities that made me fall in love with him), I do not get shooting things for “fun,” or so-called sport. Where's the sport? Not really a fair matchup in my opinion. I’m confused about shooting birds with shotguns. If you hit them dead-on, they practically explode. The purpose of shotguns is to spread shot widely, you know, so your aim needn’t be so good. Sheesh.

I’m just going to say it, and agree with me or not … well, it’s my blog! Dick Cheney has a mean face, and I don’t trust him one bit, and the fact that he shoots birds that he doesn’t eat further repels me from him. He makes my skin crawl, he feels viscerally evil to me—that coupled with his appalling record on nearly everything that is near and dear to me just makes me wonder what it is about him that I’m missing. Any takers out there? Anyone want to tell me why I should like this man?

In the meantime, my pal James Wolcott has linked to a similar incident that occurred with the prez himself! OK, well, he didn’t shoot another person … rather he blew an endangered bird to smithereens! Read the story, friends, at the very least you’ll get kick out of Bush mistaking a mourning dove for a kildeer. Why kill a mourning dove?

I’m thinking we should take the guns away from these two men. I'm thinking perhaps they should question a compulsion to hunt when they've got a war that should be fulfilling any bloodlust. In fact, I’m seeing a suggestion here between the need to shoot things and our current foreign policy.

THESE ARE THE MEN WATCHING OUT FOR OUR COUNTRY PEOPLE!!!

The Scream

Beloved dog ruptured other anterior cruciate ligament (last year the first was repaired to the tune of about $3,000) while you take mandatory computer test. Test takes countless hours over two days due to glitches in the compatability of their requirements and your computer system. You get creative on test, try to reach someone to see if It’s OK, no one will return your calls. Passing the test is necessary in order to graduate.

Beloved dog has been found, during blood-work resulting from aforementioned injury, to have urinary, and potentially kidney, problems. Sweet thing must now exist on a pricey diet of purely Science Diet products. No more treats, period. More tests to come, appointment with surgeon on Wednesday. Love her, but panicked about expenses and time needed to follow-up on problems. Feel like screaming ...

Throw out back lifting pup in and out so that she can perform her normal doggie functions. Pain only slightly dulled by Ibuprofin. Find out that Ibuprofin can be deadly to dogs--your husband gave beloved dog some to ease pain as you screeched through computer exam.

Short-term lease company politely insist they can no longer extend deadline to pay deposit for this summer’s European car lease … please pay now … cha-ching.

Refrigerator dies. Should have died years ago. Immediately needed to find a new one, took 5 stores and much research to decide upon correct, affordable model. By the time decision is made, store is closed until Monday. More cha-ching.

An elderly neighbor drops by to “help fix” burned out house lamp, creates havoc that requires 2 hours of no electricity. Kitchen smells like rotting food, computer unusable despite 2 looming papers. Light remains unfixed. Want to scream …

Other neighbor calls to ask for help with a stray pit bull she has found. Give necessary moral support and pep-talk when it becomes clear dog will need to go to shelter in order to prevent consumption of her smaller pugs.

Grad school research, associated deadlines, bills, due dates on library books needed for project but as-yet unopened due to pressure and immediate crises!!! One Grad school sends 5-page form to prove residency, scream rises in your throat …

Laundry reclines in 6 loads on the floor of hallway. Cat skids around sock pile like a hockey player in the wee morning hours.

Husband demands you take over kitchen remodel project which has no budget and should be completed before June. Shows you where he has used blue painter's tape to suggest a scheme. Walk away.

Tuesday, Valentine’s Day, make husband agree to only buy cards.

Your turn to host writers' group. No groceries, no frig, kitchen deconstructing itself.

Papers due, agree to participate in “ethics bowl” --totally stresses you out, Sr. English portfolio due, 10 pages of workshop fiction, 6-8 pages of new fiction, Foucault, Debrah Eisenberg, Katherine Hayles. Inhale for huge, guttural, unabashedly primal SCREAM …

Sleep quite impossible.

Links und Rechts

As the original bloggers did, today it’s just the links, ma’am …

Since I’m struggling through a growing avalanche of commitments, I’m going to have to turn the creativity over to others.

Regarding the recent state of the union address by our fearless leader, follow this link to S. Rowan Wolf’s Radical Noesis for how the spin doctors revised Bush’s assertions the following day. While you’re there, take a look at some of Rowan’s other posts regarding the efforts of the third world to reclaim the profits of their natural resources.

At Andrea’s Superhero site, she is sharing her gorgeous photography and energy for creative inspiration.

For those who would like to read more about the controversy over the Danish cartoons, Rowan has written an interesting conversation regarding suggestion on the timing and potential subterfuge involved in publishing the cartoons.

James Wolcott’s irreverent, smart, combative blog is always fun to check out, or for a hilarious account of the first 24 hours of Heather’s (Dooce) trip to Amsterdam, follow this link.

I’ll be back.